The First Step Is Just Showing Up
Starting Your Journey After Loss
Some days, just getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. Whether you're navigating the aftermath of a bereavement, coming through a divorce, processing the end of a significant relationship, facing a job loss, or dealing with any other profound change, the weight of loss can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming.
Here's the truth- showing up is enough. You don't need to have it all figured out. You don't need a five-year plan. Sometimes, victory looks like making your morning coffee, taking a shower, or simply breathing through another day.
As Maya Angelou once wisely observed, "You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated."
Loss reshapes our world in unexpected ways. The routines that once anchored our days might suddenly feel pointless. Spaces that were once comfortable might now echo with absence. This disorientation is normal – it's your mind and heart adjusting to a new reality. Neuroscience tells us that our brains actually process emotional pain in many of the same regions that process physical pain, explaining why loss can feel so physically overwhelming.
I remember the first weeks after my own significant loss – how the simple act of watering my plants became both a challenge and an anchor. Each morning, that small task gave me a reason to move, to care, to continue. These weren't just tasks; they were quiet acts of courage, small declarations that I was still here, still moving forward.
Start small. Maybe today it's opening the curtains to let in light. Tomorrow, it might be answering one email or taking a five-minute walk. In Japanese culture, there's a concept called "kintsugi" – the art of repairing broken pottery with gold, making it more beautiful for having been broken. Your journey of showing up each day is similar; each small step forward adds to your growing strength.
Remember: healing isn't linear. You'll have days when you feel stronger, and days when a tsunami of grief catches you off guard. Both are valid. Both are part of the journey. Research in resilience psychology shows that this oscillation between different emotional states is not just normal – it's essential for healthy processing and growth.
The most powerful step you can take is simply showing up for yourself, exactly as you are, one moment at a time. It's not about bouncing back – it's about moving forward, however slowly, carrying your experience with you. This is where reinvention begins – not with grand gestures, but with these small, brave choices to continue.
Reflection Questions:
What is one small task that could give your day structure?
Where do you feel most at peace right now?
What would "showing up" look like for you today?
Simple Practice:
Choose one tiny action to commit to each day this week. It could be as simple as drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning or opening a window for fresh air. Write it down and celebrate each day you complete it.
Remember, this is just the beginning of your reinvention journey. These small steps of showing-up are laying the foundation for profound transformation ahead. As the Japanese proverb goes, "Fall seven times, stand up eight."
Your journey of reinvention starts with simply standing up, again and again.
You’ve got this.